Reclaiming My Roots: Who Am I?
From what I have gathered from my grandparents before their passing, is that my maternal grandmother’s mother was African-American, and her father was biracial, Native American, and White. When speaking to my grandmother, I gathered that her father primarily identified as White due to what we call in my culture “White passing,” which means someone who is biracial but has more predominant features of one race over the other. Outside of my maternal grandmother, everyone else (e.g., my parents, my fraternal grandparents, and all other great-grandparents) was African-American (Black). In prior years, I was unsure of the specific African descent, and no one in my family recalls our African origins. Through research, I have come to understand that as human beings, we are storytellers who fill in missing pieces of our memories that are consistent with our current beliefs and sense of self (Schwartz, 2017). During the pandemic, my family tried the DNA test through Ancestry.com (2024). My DNA resembles 14 world regions, including Nigeria, Cameroon, Congo, Mali, Benin/Togo, England, Ghana, Sweden, Denmark, Senegal, Scotland, Ireland, and Wales. More specifically, the data showed that during the trans-Atlantic slave trade, my descendant’s origins were mainly from Nigeria, Cameroon, Congo, and Western Bantu people.
My background roots center around Black Southern Christianity. I must emphasize my region because it has shaped who I am today. I grew up not judging someone due to their gender, but there were clear gender roles within my family. I saw marriages and the importance of being married. Religion was key in how marriage was a sacred bond between a man and a woman. Men were responsible for the household’s salvation as well as were providers for the family. Specifically for me, my mom and father divorced before I was two years old, and I remember my step-father since the age of 6. Within the Black culture, we do not speak on the shortcomings of others, which is why I did not realize my biological father struggled with substance abuse until I was in my early 20s. When someone is on drugs or goes to jail, the family keeps this information a secret mostly. I went many years without answers to where my biological father was, only receiving a response of “I do not know,” which at the time could have been confirmed since he was allegedly living in many shelters. When someone goes to jail, many use the term “went to college” even though that person was not in a university.
Specifically, within my family’s culture, women empowerment is of the utmost importance. Black women are raised to be independent and hard workers. Since birth, values such as perseverance were instilled in me. I was told that I should only depend on myself financially, mentally, and emotionally. The pathway to life was to go to school, get good grades, and then go to college to obtain a well-paying job eventually. Although my family centered around companionship and marriage, this was not one of the checkboxes that my mom had for me. There were many lectures about being able to support yourself alone and not having to depend on anyone else financially.
Today, I find myself mirroring many of those doctrines my culture and family drilled into me. I have obtained three higher education degrees and am working on my fourth. Unfortunately, my social class has not changed much due to the economy, but I am not within the poverty line. I remain with the identity of a Black, heterosexual woman. I do not identify as different from my family culture. As I have experienced life, I have learned that the principles my culture taught me were needed to navigate life successfully. As an African American, my racial identity intersects with societal expectations, historical experiences, and cultural narratives that have been integral to my survival and success.
The values passed down through generations, particularly those of resilience, community support, and self-determination, have been necessary to navigate the complex social structures in which African Americans operate. These values help ground me while allowing me the flexibility to engage with a multicultural world. In terms of Ethnic Identity Development, I find myself in the stage of Ethnic Awareness, where I have developed an understanding of both my own culture and those that differ from mine. This stage signifies a recognition of cultural similarities and differences and how they contribute to one’s sense of identity and others’ lived experiences (Phinney, 1992).
References:
AncestryDNA Results for LaChrislyn Goss: Database report, Ancestry DNA
(https://www.ancestry.com/dna/insights/8E0215CA-C241-4787-B47D-A1199236A0A7: accessed May 25, 2022).
Phinney, J. S. (1992). The Multigroup Ethnic Identity Measure: A new scale for use with diverse
groups. Journal of Adolescent Research, 7(2), 156–176. https://doi.org/10.1177/074355489272003
Schwartz, A. (2017, March 2). Center for Resilience Informed Therapy. Healing preverbal trauma. Retrieved June 6, 2024, from https://drarielleschwartz.com/healing-preverbal-trauma-dr-arielle-schwartz/